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Here is one of my favorite sections: the
T-shirt section. This is where I will post all my quotes I get from T-shirts.
All of these are funny, and I personally love them. Laugh out your lungs!
"I'm bad with names. Can I just
call you dumbass?" -Hot
Topic t-shirt
"Guns
don't kill people. People with moustaches kill people." -Hot Topic t-shirt
"Did
you eat a bowl of stupid for breakfest?" -Hot Topic t-shirt
"I'm
a Ninja. (You can't see me)" -Hot Topic t-shirt
"I
crossed over to the Dark Side. Don't worry- I brought a flashlight." -Hot
Topic t-shirt
"I
love poetry, long walks on the beach, and poking dead things with a stick.”
-Hot Topic t-shirt
"Sarcasm-
it beats killing people." -Hot Topic t-shirt
"Your
inferiority complex might be justified." -Hot Topic t-shirt
"Silence
is golden but duct tape is silver." -Hot Topic t-shirt
"On
a scale of 1 to 10, you really suck." -random t-shirt
"I'll
try being nicer if you try being smarter." -random t-shirt
"Do
not start with me- You will not win." -random t-shirt
"I AM NOT LAZY. I am physically
conservative." -Random T-shirt that I want
"So many right-wing Christians, so few
Lions..." -T-shirt spotted by John R.
"No, I do not kill babies. No, I do not
worship satan. No, I do not do love spells. No, I do not fly. No, I do not turn
into a cat. Yes, I am a witch." -t-shirt my friend Mia would like
"If you choke a smurf...what color will
it turn?" -Johnsons Smith catalog t-shirt
"You have kind eyes. The kind I'd like to
poke out." -Random t-shirt
"Every
time you open your mouth...Some idiot starts talking." -Johnsons Smith
catalog t-shirt "My parents said I
could be anything, so I became an asshole." -Johnsons Smith catalog
t-shirt "Your lips keep
moving...but all I hear is 'Blah Blah Blah...'" -Johnsons Smith catalog
t-shirt "The only mark I've made in
life is in my underwear." -Johnsons Smith catalog t-shirt "GOOD
JOB! You haven't done anything stupid in five minutes!" -Johnsons Smith
catalog t-shirt "Let's play
carpenter! First we get hammered, then I nail you." -Johnsons Smith catalog
t-shirt "NOT PERFECT but so close
it scares me." -Johnsons Smith catalog t-shirt "Buy
this man a beer." -Johnsons Smith catalog t-shirt "5
out of 4 people have a problem with fractions." -Johnsons Smith catalog
t-shirt "SAVE THE TREES. Wipe your
ass with an owl." -Johnsons Smith catalog t-shirt "My
imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems." -Johnsons Smith
catalog t-shirt "DON'T RUSH ME. I
get paid by the hour." -Johnsons Smith catalog t-shirt "Therapy
is expensive. Beer is cheap...What to do?...What to do?" -Johnsons Smith
catalog t-shirt "To err is human,
to blame it on someone else shows management potential." -Johnsons Smith
catalog t-shirt "I am not
infantile, you stinky poophead." -Johnsons Smith catalog t-shirt "No
job, no money, no car, but I'm in a band." -Johnsons Smith catalog
t-shirt "I'm multi-talented; I can
talk and piss you off at the same time." -Johnsons Smith catalog t-shirt "When
I snap, you'll be the first to go." -Johnsons Smith catalog t-shirt "I'm
retired, but I work part-time as a pain in the ass." -Johnsons Smith
catalog t-shirt "Just how much fun
can I have before I go to Hell?" -Johnsons Smith catalog t-shirt "This
is not a BEER GUT. It's a protective covering for my rock hard abs." -Johnsons
Smith catalog t-shirt "I'm trying
to see things from your point of view...but I can't get my head that far up my
ass." -Johnsons Smith catalog t-shirt "Join
the ARMY. Visit exotic places, meet interesting people, then kill them." -Johnsons
Smith catalog t-shirt "Heaven
doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over." -Johnsons Smith catalog
t-shirt "You're an inspiration to
idiots everywhere." -Johnsons Smith catalog t-shirt "Your
village called...They want their idiot back!" -Johnsons Smith catalog
t-shirt "On the journey of life, I
chose the psycho path." -Johnsons Smith catalog t-shirt "My
Anger Management class PISSES ME OFF." --Johnsons Smith catalog
t-shirt "Let's skip the insults and
get right to your ass kicking." -Johnsons Smith catalog t-shirt "On
your mark, get set...Go Away." -Johnsons Smith catalog t-shirt "Jenius."
-Johnsons Smith catalog t-shirt "I
live in my own little world, but it's ok...they know me here." -Johnsons
Smith catalog t-shirt "I'm so
miserable without you, it's like you're still here!" -Johnsons Smith
catalog t-shirt "The last thing I
want to do is hurt you...but it's still on the list." -Johnsons Smith
catalog t-shirt "It's hard to show
I CARE since I don't." -Johnsons Smith catalog t-shirt "You
can pick your nose. You can pick your friends. But you can't wipe your friends
on the couch." -Johnsons Smith catalog t-shirt "WARNING:
I have gas and I know how to use it." -Johnsons Smith catalog t-shirt "I
never went to bed with an ugly woman, but I sure have woke up with a few!"
-Johnsons Smith catalog t-shirt
"It's only funny until someone loses an
eye. Then, hey, free eyeball." -Hot Topic t-shirt (mine!)
"GEEZER (formerly known as "Stud
Muffin")" -Random T-shirt catalogue page
"I'm out of my mind, but feel free to
leave a message." -My friend Cathy's Hot Topic T-shirt
"I remember laughing at 40 year olds when
I was young. But now I can't remember what was so funny." -Random T-shirt
catalogue page
"Which one of my personalities do you find offensive? -
One of my own Hot Topic shirts
"Rock is dead. Long live paper and
scissors!" -One of my own Hot Topic shirts
"So much to do...so few people to do it for
me..." -One of my own Hot Topic shirts
"I wish I could Ctrl+Alt+Del you." -Hot Topic t-shirt
"I'm in shape. Round is a shape." -High Cotton catalogue
"Team Effort is a lot of people doing what I say." -High Cotton
catalogue
"Lawyers have feelings, too. Allegedly." -High Cotton catalogue
"People are dying. Oh well, gotta go and download some music..."
-High Cotton catalogue
"Five minutes with me is like an hour with an angry mob." -High
Cotton catalogue
"Time flies when you're in a coma." -High Cotton catalogue
"Speed Dater: got a minute?" -High Cotton catalogue
"I'm objective- I object to everything." -High Cotton catalogue
"I know I should lift weights, but those things are heavy." -High
Cotton catalogue
"Size matters. Pad your wallet." -High Cotton catalogue
"You never see a motorcycle parked outside a psychiatrist's
office." -High Cotton catalogue
"It's all fun and games 'til someone loses an eye." -High Cotton
catalogue
"Do 40 year-old men wear boxers or briefs? Depends." -High Cotton
catalogue
"A little gray hair is a small price to pay for this much wisdom."
-High Cotton catalogue
"I'm retired. Do it yourself." -High Cotton catalogue
"I'm too sexy for my age." -High Cotton catalogue
"40 year old, one owner. Needs parts, make offer." -High Cotton
catalogue
"Old dog-anxious to learn new tricks." -High Cotton catalogue
"I'm 40 and I feel great! Feel for yourself!" -High Cotton
catalogue
"OLD: Openminded, Lovable, Dignified." -High Cotton catalogue
"Scores golf by the honor system." -High Cotton catalogue
"You don't know me. (Seal of FWPP, Federal Witness Protection
Program)" -High Cotton catalogue
"Retired. Leave me alone." -High Cotton catalogue
"I hit 2 good balls today. I stepped on a rake." -High Cotton
catalogue
"The ancient Egyptians worshipped cats as gods. Cats have never
forgotten this." -High Cotton catalogue
"Not the brightest crayon in the box, now are we?" -T-shirt spotted
by me
"Fat people are harder to kidnap." -Random T-shirt
"I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory!" -Random
shirt
"I have my own little world. But, that's ok. They know me here!"
-Random shirt
"SARCASIM-Just another one of the free services I offer." -T-shirt
spotted by Samantha A.
"I used to care, but now I take a pill for that." -T-shirt spotted
by Samantha A.
"I do whatever the voices in my head tell me to do." -T-shirt
spotted by Samantha A.
"Out of my mind. Back in five minutes!" -Friend's T-shirt
"I see dumb people." -One of my own shirts!
"Stupidity is not a crime, so you are free to go." -Another one of
my own!
"Don't let your mind wander. It's to small to be outside on it's
own." -Another one of my own!
"Don't talk to me when I'm talking to myself." -Random T-shirt
"(Front) GO AWAY! (Back) I have enough friends already." -Another
one of mine.
"Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups."
-My friend Josh's t-shirt
"Trust me. I do this all the time." -Josh's shirt
"People like you are the reason people like me need medication."
-T-shirt spotted by Samantha Alvarado
"Whatever it was, I swear I didn't do it!" -T-shirt spotted by
Samantha Alvarado
"Yes, cheese. You know, cheese?" -KenWest 'Annie' shirt
"You laugh because I'm DIFFERENT. I laugh because you're all the
SAME." -'Hot Topic' T-Shirt
"I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it." -Jack
Astor's T-shirt
"I lost my number. Can I have yours?" -Jack Astor's T-shirt
"I used to be schizophrenic, but we're ok now." -Jack Astor's
T-shirt
"Hold my beer while I kiss your girlfriend." -Jack Astor's T-shirt
(Can you tell I've been there lately?)
"It's our business doing pleasure with you." -Jack Astor's T-shirt
"I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone." -Jack Astor's
T-shirt
"I am a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keep up."
-Random shirt online
"I am well travelled. (Not really, my mind wanders.)" -My friend
Joe D.'s T-shirt
"Yes, as a matter of fact, the world does revolve around me."
-Another of my friend Joe D.'s shirts
"Keep staring. I might do a trick." -Another of my friend Joe D.'s
shirts
"I'm not anti social...I just don't like you." -Hot Topic T-shirt
"I get enough exercise pushing my luck." -My friend Travis C.'s
shirt
"If I throw a stick, will you leave?" -My friend Travis C.'s shirt
"Don't put a cat on your head. It hurts real bad." -My friend
Travis C.'s shirt
"Drunk chicks think I'm hot." -My friend Kathy F.'s shirt
"Keep your receipt. Maybe you can return your boyfriend." -My
friend Kimberly A.'s shirt
"Go away." -My friend Elias's shirt
"I can only be nice to one person today. Today is not your day. (And
tomorrow's not looking good, either.) -My friend Elias' shirt
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